Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Osama Been Hiding

Lizardo's former boss gave him a phone call
to help out with a special client who needed
assistance out of the country.

Lizardo used to be a "coyote",
helping out with the export of human resources
from places like China, El Salvador, Nicaragua,
Morocco, former Soviet countries, etc,
and import to them to developed countries
like England, USA, France.

Lizardo had friends in Customs and the
local town sheriffs. His fee to transport
the human resource would range between
10 to 15 thousand dollars, depending
on the season, volume and distance to
the border line. A percentage of his
fee would go to Customs and the
local town sheriffs that Lizardo befriended
with his charismatic personality.

His former boss said: "This customer is willing to pay the "coyote"
to bring him across to a safe haven.
His name was Osama Been Hiding and
he is on the FBI's top 10 most wanted list."

The mission was to bring Osama from Kendahar
to Bora Bora, not to be confused with Tora Bora.
Lizardo met Osama at the International House of Fried Chicken
at the local junction of the Main Cave Street
and the White Sand Castle joint.

Lizardo got to know Been Hiding and told him to
put on a "burka", which is something the Afghani women
wear to cover their entire body.
Been Hiding complained that he couldn't see or breathe
inside one of those stupid "burkas", and that it
gets too hot in there to smell his own dusty breath.

Lizardo told Osama that the Americans are looking
to kill him on site and that this is the only way to
escape out of Afghanistan.
Also that he had to shave off his beard. When Osama
appeared, he looked like a tall Geraldo Rivera.

Been Hiding accepted to wear the disguise
and Lizardo shipped him in a Greek vessel
container, full of pirated goods and 250 Turks,
who paid the "coyote" to get them to Germany.

After weeks oversea, Osama arrived at Bora Bora,
dehydrated and couldn't believe how well everyone
treated him. Lizardo said to Been Hiding, "Are you
kidding, everyone is afraid of Gerardo Rivera".

From Salt 'N Pepper